Exploring the promise of the bedroom by deeply listening to women’s bedroom stories and mapping their successes.
Project designed by Susan Kay Preslar MS FNP-C
Of all the women in my Female Sexual Medicine practice, and of all the problems we solve there (and most are solved) it is a handful of women who take their sex lives to the sublime level. What is it that gets a woman to take a ho-hum or problematic sex life and create changes that, to her, make it a GREAT SEX LIFE? The attention in this project will be on the women who do just that. This project will look at HOW she became successful. Did she create change(s) through psychological work, energy work, hormone or medical treatment, surgery, tantric sex study, or a combination of any of these or other processes. Curiosity will also be focused on WHY and WHEN she began to make a change and what were her TURNING POINTS. Women are not simple creatures, so I am not expecting simple descriptions.
There is no map for American Women to follow to have a great time in the bedroom. Some women are loving it. Yet other women, really great women, are feeling disinterested or resentful. As much as these women love their husbands or their partners, they are tired, or tired of not enjoying it as much as their partner does. This project looks at women who did not always enjoy sex or who found their sex lives not that interesting, but asked questions, explored, made changes, and now anticipate sex with enthusiasm. These women exist, I see them in my practice. These women are the ones who persist until what happens in the bedroom becomes something to get excited about. Sometimes it is a single factor such as stopping an interfering medication that can move things to a different place. More often the stories involve multiple steps, searching, and discovery.
In this project there is a preference for the transforming of sex lives within an existing relationship. “I changed partners” can be a real answer to the question “What made your sex life great?”, but it is the observation of this professional that often times there are unopened doors within an existing relationship. “I love my husband and I think he is great. Our relationship works but I am just not that interested in sex” is a common declaration in my office. It is in this context – having at the core a positive supportive relationship but wondering if there is more possibility in the bedroom - that this project lives. This project includes all women in relationship and includes same sex couples.
The focus of attention in this project is on the women themselves, and the actions the women take. Despite the large role of the partner in determining what happens in the bedroom, in this project the attention will be paid to the stories and the actions of the women. A collection will be made of these women’s stories with a focus on their TURNING POINTS.
Confidential Interviews lasting 60 to 90 minutes will be done over the phone. Second interviews may occur, if needed, to capture all the elements of the story. The promise is to do all of the above in an honest and respectful manner, appreciating that the world of gender and sexuality has mystery and power that we may never understand.
If you have a success story you would like to share please e-mail Susan by clicking here and filling out the simple form. We will contact you to arrange an interview.
